A fractured fairytale …
(A) Once upon a time, there lived a boy of ginormous proportions. he was taller than his father at 5 years old, one day he was walking through the shopping center when some guys started attacking him. they knocked him out and when poor old Jed. When Jed woke up he was on the side of a highway but there were no cars only one gnome.
(B) The gnome never saw it coming.
the truck hit him like a cannon and he was in a big comer for a long time. and it happened as fast as you can blink it was so scary i like could not believe it. fred has had a bad life his wife divorced him and his son wants nothing to do with him and now this,fred is not having the best day. now they don’t know that he is the golden gnome but it was all going to change. he killed all the people that hated he and then he was going to be on top. he went to the shed and got out the axe and went on a rampage. hahaha. He came across a village and found an angry troll. and the gnome rampaged with the troll.
(C) “How was I to know the frosting was made of poison ivy!”, the frog exclaimed.
The Troll cackled and grabbed the frog by the scruff of the neck. “You were never supposed to know, you were supposed never know! You were supposed to die!!” Binky Bear hung upside down from his ankles, struggling to untie the rope that he was hung by. Tears poured from Binky and Frog, but just when all seemed lost, Rocky the Super Turtle broke the door down and leapt towards Troll. They crashed through the shelves of bizarre objects, and soon they melted into a pile of… yuck! Frog jumped up and untied Binky but they were soon nuked and they all died happily ever after!!
(A) At that very moment, Boris walked through the time portal.
An opened his eyes and his eyes disintegrated. he half staggered around the swirl and landed in a parallel dimension and in an upside down house. the aliens took him captive and threw him into prison.
(B) It’s funny how windows can seem unimportant until you don’t have one.
Well I don’t have one but its not important to me. i had no escape and
(A) But the flying chairs were the least of their worries. the flying vaginas
Because there was a big dinosaur bolting down the road headed straight for them.
it stepped on 30 buildings and killed 600 people that magically appeared. there was a guy in a helicopter that the dinosaur was heading for the headless chicken and then they
(B) “Hey you dummy – get down!” she yelled.
then a shot is fired, crash oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no his his his his his his his his dead you were such a good boy.
(C) The beach seemed like the best escape option at the time.
So they took the beach option and halfway to the exit door they found a rainbow snake holding a black and white sword with its floating hands.
And those that survived lived somewhat comfortably, though in constant fear that another giant was just around the corner.
So they got counselling and they never felt bad again.